Nature Never Tasted So Good September 22, 2008

This past weekend, Calvin and I hit our neighborhood WalMart for a monster stock-up run. Did you know that Walmart still has a pet store department with some small creatures in it?!? We discovered it on our way to get dog food. They mostly carry aquarium critters and it has a nice Goldfish display. We were pleased. I even caught it on phone-video so you, my bestest friends of the InterWeb, could share this joyful moment of parenting with me:

Right! So… I ask you, where did I fail that my child can not tell the difference between a living creature and a delicious snack cracker?!!!!

Similarly, on Sunday, I heard the following words come out of my mouth: “No. Yucky! Put him down. We do not eat the woolly worm!”

Silly city baby!

Antonio, Take a Letter September 12, 2008

Dear Birds Eye Vegetables:

Please review the enclosed photo.

Spring Vegetables in Citrus Sauce?

Does anything seem off to you? Spring vegetables in citrus sauce? More like a bunch of carrots, 5 dehydrated pea pods and an anorexic asparagus tip swimming in a pond of I Can’t Believe It’s Not Butter. While I don’t expect the product to match the box exactly I was expecting more than a tub of carrots for my $3.29! Should the fine folks over at Green Giant ever ask, I will say “It was those evil swindlers at Bird Eye who destroyed my faith in the vegetable medley.”

Spring Vegetables in Citrus Sauce, tasty and delicious you were not!

Sincerely,

Mediocre Perfectionist

It is official… September 8, 2008

… I am more indentured servant than “mommy.” Over the weekend at Niece Madison’s b-day party, Calvin took to calling me “Chris”. Argh! I corrected him a number of times yesterday. I even said (as if this rationale works with an 18 month old), “You call me ‘Mommy.” You are the only person in the world who gets to call me Mommy.” So he said… “Mom”. Damn it! I’m not ready to give up “mommy” yet.

I thought we had the “Chris” but nixed by last night. Here is our morning (and it’s only 9:30):

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“CHRIIIIIIIIIS, cheese. Need more.”

Say, “Mommy!”

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“Hunnry! Hunnry, Chriiiis.”

Say, “Mommy!”

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“CHRIIIIS. Cheese. I yike it!”

Good. Now say, “Mommy!”

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“A yucky! Chriiis, cheese a yucky!”

Say, “Mommy!”

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“CHRIIIIIS! Puppy sticky”

Say, “Mommy!” The dog is fine.

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“CHRIIIIIIS! Truman itchy!” (I think he meant itchy the first time.)

Say, “Mommy!”

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“CHRIIIIIS! Monkey! Over! Monkey! Over!” (Monkey=Curious George on PBS)

Say, “Mommy!”

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“CHRIIIS! Need more unges (oranges)”

Say, “Mommy!”

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“Hi, Mommy. Chriiiiis!… I say, ‘Hi, Mommy!’”

Lol… And he runs away laughing.

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Do you think he’s already learned to Mock me?!!!!

Tomorrow he goes to school!… Not a moment too soon!